Overheard in Portland

"The Internet adds ten pounds." [on meeting a Skype contact in person for the first time]

"You're not a cantaloupe person and I'm not a honeydew person. Interesting." [in the breakfast buffet line]

"My students kept complaining that the library orientation was torture, so I went to it, and they were right. It was torture." [well yeah, that's why Introduction to Torture is a required class in library school]

"Ho Ho Ho! Merrrrry Christmas!" [very believable Santa Claus at the mall]

"Well, speaking as a Mac owner and not an Apple Store employee..." [yeah, right]

"I'm sorry. We're all out of Pepto Bismol donuts." [settled for a Fruit Loop donut instead]

"So did anyone have any new ideas last night? At dinner, on the treadmill, in the shower with your teammates... "
[intense blushing]
"I mean in the shower COMMA with your teammates!!!"

"Mathematicians cite papers they actually read. Biologists cite every paper ever written on the topic by a potential reviewer." [so true]

"Her name is Catherine Chow, but she goes by Cat." [and she makes dresses entirely out of zippers]

"I'll have a chardonnay and a hot dog." [in the bistro car]

"I bet you don't even know what the Alamo is."
"Yes I do, and it's not one of John Wayne's better films!"
[from the most predictable movie ever]